Handsome Men Lost Episode: DaiKrauser
by sasahara17
Summary: With approval from PWMA. When Midnight Carnival decide to have a concert a few blocks down from the Handsome Men HQ, Danielle, Ashley and Black's lives are turned upside down. Let there be Rock.


**Disclaimers**;

* * *

I do not own Gunslinger Girl, Devil May Cry, Gulity Gear, Berserk, Super Robot Wars, Tsukihime, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, Elder Scrolls, Naruto, Bleach, Nanoha A's, Metal Gear Solid or the Handsome Men… did I miss anybody? I'm sure I did.

'_Happily Ever After_' is sung by Shoko Nakagawa.

Thank you to 'Person With Many Aliases'. You did create Danielle, Ashley and Black after all.

Additional thanks to my beta readers, 'Wileama' and 'LoC'. Must have been a nightmare for you two to get through this thing. Thanks.

Both the Handsome Men and the OC Jeremy Colt are used with permission from their owner Person WMA. 

**

* * *

**

**Midnight Carnival X Handsome Men Crossover, Lost Episode.**

**by Sasahara17**

_

* * *

Once she loved singing. _

_She loved the feeling of hearing her voice reach out and touch other people, to give them joy, to ease their sorrows, to understand them in harmony. It was her one endearing trait. Many who had heard her sing believed that even through her body had been cursed by the devil, god had bestowed his grace upon her with his voice._

_It was the one thing that she felt stopped her from being what many believed her to be, a demon. _

_That was long ago. Long before her world was plunged into silence._

_Since then, she had killed many. Her knife flashing in the dark, the light off it the same color as her ashen hair, its blade stained with the color of her eyes. _

_How many had looked at her as the incarnation of their demise? Did they see her, a child about to end their lives? Or did they see something more sinister before them as she moved in to strike?_

_Perhaps god had truly forsaken her. The pain whenever she opened her mouth to speak was unbearable, the true testament of her sin. Unable to say even the slightest prayer or ask for forgiveness._

_She lived one day after another with little in the way of dreams or aspirations… except, perhaps, living to see the next day. The girl who had loved to sing had all but died back in that church, only a demon with stained hands remained._

_Forever the silent and swift Handsome Dead._

_Perhaps she was truly a demon. _

**

* * *

First Day**

* * *

It was all set. The device was plugged in, the instrument was tuned perfectly, the speakers were brand new… all that remained was for her to strike the chord.

"Mr. Krauser, I must insist. There is no scientific basis for what you are about to do…"

"Mien Gott… you scientists. Always think you know everything. Listen man, I've seen this thing happen countless times before and I know just how to fix it." The German man made some final adjustments to the girl's posture. "Okay Ash'ey, give her a…"

**AAAAAAAWWWWWWWEEEEEEESSSSSSSOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEEE! **

* * *

"_I pretended to watch nothing and watched your back/"_

As an anime fanatic, Danielle of Handsome Blue, the perpetually young gunslinger was a fan of anime related music. So when a certain non Japanese rock band had performed the opening song to the new 'Guilty Gear, The Animation' anime, she was all over their CD's. She'd never heard them before because they weren't strictly J-pop, but Danielle discovered she liked their stuff so much she asked Vincent to by all their albums.

All their albums.

All five hundred of them.

Every single, every compilation, even the 'Crazy Frog' remix collection.

All of them.

Vincent had to carpool to get to work for a month.

Then she realized that she rather liked rock. As the result, Vincent had to buy the CD's of 'The Three Angels' and 'Last Dead' as well. Vincent emptied his secondary bank account and came up one CD short, 'Last Dead in Madrid'.

He was now waiting for his next paycheck to get it for her, and had to beg Elisabeth from Interpol to use borrow one of her spare PC's and ring an internet connection to get his anime fix.

As if driving a secondhand Pinto wasn't humiliating enough.

But one look from his dear Danielle and her smile, and it was all worth it. He was a bit worried about her new habits though… listening to rock all day.

Anyway there she was. Having gleefully ripped the music from the CDs onto her 80Gigabyte Video iPod, another reason why Vincent was broke, Danielle was blasting away at the distant targets with her 'Jan Gun' to the rhythm of the music, her earphones under her earmuffs. She sang along with the music.

Unfortunately, unlike her more musically inclined 'long lost sister' in Italy, Danielle didn't have music lessons.

As a testament to her singing ability, the supervisor in charge of their self practice, a young man named Stephanie of all things, was now writhing in agony on the floor, his ears leaking blood.

"_I became hard and ran away/_

_I miss you baby!/"_

It was too much for the other girl at the range to handle.

"Damn Japanophile! WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Love ripped the protective earmuffs of her own head and stormed up to the other girl before doing the same to Danielle in a furious rage. "Some of us are actually trying to shoot straight here!"

Danielle didn't hear her, earphones still in her ears still playing the music. She might not even have noticed her safety earmuffs were gone.

"_The love I knew from it is only vexation of jealousy/_

_I left it and have escaped/"_

As a result, Love was standing right next to the Danielle when the deafening sound of the P90 ripped though the air, sending the other girl kicking and swearing to the floor while gripping her head in anguish.

The self proclaimed 'Chinese bitch of the Handsome Men' didn't know what was worse, the loud ringing caused by being next to a firing gun, or the singing that could very well be the death of her.

Ahead of them, the practice target barely shook as the bullets all flew through the same hole right in the middle of a certain dot in the center of several concentric squares.

Bull's-eye.

"_Already, Good-bye-bye FIRST LOOOOVE!"_

* * *

"So who is this band you're so fond of?" Love asked as the two of them left the shooting range. Love's ears were still ringing and she had been furious with Danielle immediately after, but once the covert operative had seen Danielle's perfect, not just 'near perfect' but 'completely perfect', score, Love couldn't helped be impressed.

Is this what music did to you? Could it make up into some kind of super accurate sharpshooter? Perhaps this just might be her ticket to success, and finally become a match for the 'Bloody Heartland'. Love just had to find out what the heck was going on.

"Oh, They're just a rock band I took a liking too."

"Really? Mind if I try them out?" Love asked.

Danielle's eyes lit up. As an avid fanatic, read; groupie, Danielle believed it was her solemn duty to convert the masses to the light. Nodding fervently, Danielle handed the iPod over to Love who, with a bit of trepidation, put the speakers in her ears.

"…_ve is inconvenient comparatively/_

_They are not put in order, in reason/_

_Till I get possible to enjoy that/_

_Get many, many TIIIIIIIIMMME!/"_

"…questionable Lyrics aside, this is pretty good."

Danielle was ecstatic.

Maybe this time Love would actually like it and she'd finally have another fan, read groupie, to talk to!

Her attempt at converting Ashley had been disastrous, with the mute albino girl suddenly adopting very particular behavior just a day shy from being leant the CD. She kept writing the phrases like '_Blessed By the Martyrrrrr_!', '_Katamari Damashiiiii_!' and even '_Lonely Raillllll_!' on her speech paper like a photocopy machine or slamming her head into a steel wall repeatedly for no discernable reason.

A very concerned Krauser had taken the traumatized cyborg to the doctor, where they apparently did something to cure her that involved singing, earmuffs and a guitar amp… and of course, the sudden destruction of every glass window plane in the medical building.

Ashley had steered clear of Danielle ever since.

Danielle couldn't blame her.

"It is good isn't it?" Danielle chimed so adorably. She reached into her clothes and yanked out a CD that she was hiding in her clothes. She had been waiting for this. "Here you go! It's one of their older albums, but I think you'll like it!"

Love took a step back. "You… carry one around with you even though it's on your iPod?"

Danielle nodded vigorously. "They're on a tour right now and Virginia is next on the list! Vincent is taking me to the concert, so I am really excited!"

"… So what's their name anyway?"

Danielle smiled with pride. "Midnight Carnival."

* * *

"Hey Ashley, check out what Danielle gave me…"

Bang!

Love was sprawled on the floor as the albino girl fled from the room in terror upon seeing the CD.

* * *

It was later that night when Love, now with a new appreciation of music inspected the booklet that accompanied the CD. She had a good laugh at the names of some of the band members (what kind of name is I-No?) until she noticed a single name listed among the cast.

A name she and all the members of the Handsome Men were familiar with.

Love couldn't believe her eyes. In fact, Love was so startled, she ran to the nearest computer terminal to verify it herself. She checked their website, their fan site, and the Tower of Records profiles… hell she even checked Wikipedia.

They all said the same thing.

And his name was also on the cast list of their Langley performance!

"Oh. SHIT."

Handsome Blue was in her room, reading her manga and listening to Last Dead, a band with close ties to Midnight Carnival, when her door burst open.

"Danielle! Danielle! Take those fucking speakers out of ears for once and look at this!"

Love shoved the object she had been waving about into Danielle's face, trying to steady shaking her hand so that the other girl could see it properly. Slightly annoyed at being so rudely interrupted, Danielle furrowed her brow. It was the CD she lent to Love.

"What about Midnight Carnival?"

Love pointed at the names of the band members. "Look here dumbass!" Danielle leaned in and peered at the list of the people that made up the band.

Now that she thought about it, she never did take a look at that list before did she?

"Haruhi Suzumiya …? Dante Sparda…! I-No! Oh wow!" Danielle had died and gone to anime heaven. Wow! Those people we well known names in the anime and video game industry! No wonder their music was so catchy!

"Look at the guy in charge of the drums dummy!"

"Okay if you insist. Jeremy Co…"

It clicked.

"Oh. Fuddles."

* * *

The screams woke up Handsome Dead, who had 'retired' to a different room, more specifically Yuki's, when she saw her roommate walk in with that accursed CD.

Ashley fled the scene as fast as her legs could carry her when she saw Love walk in holding that demonic thing in her hands. That crazy band had almost robbed her of her sanity! The music had drilled itself into her consciousness and embedded itself there, playing havoc with her mind.

Thankfully Kauser knew of a cure, for he had once met people who suffered from her ailment. Setting up a Dynamic General Gibson X-treme Metallic Supersonic Wave Amplification Guitar Krauser Special (A.k.a. the DaiKrauser), in the medical building to cure his cyborg was a simple matter for the European man.

Then Ashley had smashed out some very impressive music, shattering all the windows in the building and sending anyone with a pair of ears convulsing on the floor.

However the cure had resulted in her Handler's ears ringing so badly he couldn't even form a single coherent word for the next hour. Kauser was very impressed, but he still forbade her from ever listening to those CDs again. She had almost gone insane before he administer the cure.

To be honest, Kauser didn't need to. The mere memory of her shattering the windows in the science building but just experimentally testing the Dynamic General Gibson X-treme Metallic Supersonic Wave Amplification Guitar Krauser Special, was bad enough.

Even now she thought she would hear the faint sound of that rolling WMD.

The albino shivered.

And some people thought SHE was from hell.

…

She did admit, letting rip on that Dynamic General Gibson X-treme Metallic Supersonic Wave Amplification Guitar Krauser Special did feel a little good though.

* * *

In the penthouse suite where the infamous bards known as Midnight Carnival were staying, a new crisis of apocalyptic proportions was brewing.

"What the hell do you mean 'We are down a band member'? The concert is four days from now! FOUR days!" Haruhi screamed. "Unlike the last few times this happened, we don't have TIME to train a replacement! And were is Person?"

Colt rubbed the bridge of his nose and resisted the urge to pop some painkillers. "We are not down _a_ band member, we are down _two _band member_s_. And don't bother looking for Person; he's one of the people we're missing."

"What!"

Colt finally popped the cap on his painkillers and downed the whole bottle in one go. "Apparently he ran into an impenetrable dimensional wall or something and couldn't come."

"Brilliant! Well who else are we missing?"

"The other would be Dante." I-No walked into the room and sat herself down a plush leather couch and proceeded to turned her Bass Guitar. "That little jaunt to hell you and Miyazaki sent him on brought something to his attention that he needed to take care of."

Haruhi held her arms outstretched in enragement. "That is just great! We are missing our lead guitar AND our Syths!"

"Wouldn't really worry about the lead guitar. Remember Dante's guitar was actually this groupie of his named Nevan? He tasked her with finding a suitable replacement while he settles a 'family matter'." I-No shrugged. "If anyone can find a sub, it's the guitar."

The two remaining band members were speechless.

"Dante let his guitar find a replacement?" Haruhi said skeptically.

"It's either that, or we pop back in Mahora and grab Nodoka. But ever since she went to Wales, nobody's heard hide nor hair of her."

Colt sighed. "So I guess it's just the Synthesizer. And knowing you, you want me to abduct some poor sap for you."

Haruhi grinned evilly. "Brigade chief orders. Get to it."

Holding up his hands in defeat, Colt marched out of the hotel suite, taking care to pick up a dart gun loaded with extra strength knockout rounds her had specifically prepared for situations just like this one. Hey, it happened often enough!

Colt popped his next bottle of painkillers and produced a golden compass which the great Demon Goddess of Rock Yuki Nagato had given them for a situation just like this. It pointed East.

East it is.

"Which poor sap will fall to Midnight Carnival this time?"

* * *

Somewhere out there, in an empty library that was all but her own, a poor lonely girl dressed only in white sneezed.

"… must be those new lungs they put in me." She reasoned.

**

* * *

**

**Second Day**

* * *

The next morning, Danielle sauntered into the cafeteria where the rest of the girls were having breakfast. Six sets of eyes immediately zeroed in on her. Danielle paid them no heed, for she understood exactly why they were looking at her.

She looked like hell.

She had not slept a wink last night. The revelation that her idols counted her greatest enemy, Jeremy Colt, as one of their own, was too much to bear for her innocent mind.

Well as innocent a mind as a little gunslinger could have.

Love and Danielle had run all the way to the computers to verify their discovery, and sure enough every website they had investigated had pointed to that invincible terrorist as the band's percussionist. Closer examination of all the photos on the CD booklets showed that, yes, it was 666 Lives there in the back with all the drums.

Danny didn't want to believe it, but the facts were laid out as plain as day. Jeremy Colt, Crazy Horse, 666 Lives, assassin, mercenary and terrorist, was one of her idols. And, if the extensive ring of fan pages and fan listings were anything to go by, the people loved him.

Their discovery kicked up all kinds of questions into the air.

Was Midnight Carnival a front for kNIGHTS?

Was this simply a mistaken identity?

Why hadn't anyone in Intel noticed this little detail before? (A/N-Behold the power of the supernatural fellas!)

And most importantly…

"What am I going to do? What about this Saturday?" Danielle had kept asking herself. While Love had taken to the gun range and was blasting away at the targets to try and calm her nerves, Danielle had simply returned to her bed and tried in vain to fall asleep.

But the enormity of the discovery still hounded her like a baying animal.

Not even the quite snores of her room-mate Janie couldn't distract her wild thoughts.

Danielle had spent the entire night just staring at her S.O.S Brigade poster what she had pasted on wall next to her bunk bed, wishing to the Demon Gods of Rock that this was some enormous mistake. Even when her roommate had woken up, Danielle had stayed in bed just hugging her Dante Sparda body pillow as the other cyborgs headed off to the showers.

"Er… Danny? Are you alright?" Janie asked with concern. Having been Danielle's roommate, the underappreciated cyborg of Handsome Purple was surprised that she had not noticed this when she woke this morning.

Danielle smiled weakly. "Just peachy. I had a bit on my mind last night, so I had a little trouble falling asleep." She lied through her teeth. Danielle swept her eyes across the six girls present in the room, and realized that Love wasn't there. "Where's Love?"

"She is in the gun range. She just kept shooting at things, even after they tried to throw her out last night." Janie explained. "Emir is very concerned. She's always been temperamental, but this is the first time she's ever been like this."

"I see." Looks like she wasn't the only one still riled up

Danielle nodded and proceeded to walk across the buffet breakfast that had been prepared for them, trying to remain as composed as she possibly could. Then out of the corner of her eye she spotted Ashley holding up one of her speech cards.

YOUR CD DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO LOVE DID IT?

Danielle stumbled. This prompted Ashley to shake her head and hold up a different sign she had prepared before hand. Looks like the Albino had anticipated this before hand.

I THOUGHT SO. THAT BAND IS AS BAD AS THE KNIGHTS SOMETIMES.

Danny halted.

Knights. Terrorists. Crazy Horse. Midnight Carnival.

Danielle fell and landed face first into her plate of scrambled eggs, eliciting a chorus of surprised gasps from her friends.

Waving off their attempts to help her, Danielle pulled herself up with her own two shaky arms and looked despondently at the floor.

What was she going to do?

* * *

Against her best judgment, Danielle did not say anything to the adults, Vincent included. The Handsome Men blissfully continued on without the knowledge that their worst enemy was about to have a concert in the same city as their headquarters.

From the looks of it, neither had Love. From the sounds of automatic gunfire still ringing from the firing range, Handsome Pink was still trying to come to grips with reality.

Danielle was torn.

The logical part of her mind screamed; 'Hey Danny, remember that guy who hit Vinnie? Jeremy Colt? Yeah him? The terrorist you swore to bring down? You know where he is now, so go kick his sorry behind and even the score!'

The other part retorted; 'Must go to concert! Must by Limited E. CD's! Must get them signed! Who the fell cares if Jeremy -Fucking- Colt is on the band? In fact, admit it girl! You know what a man he is, so go suck his…!'

Danny slapped herself. She was less than twelve for heavens sake!

The P90 wielding anime lover was more or less stuck.

Vincent, while unable to figure out what was plaguing his little princess, did notice she was stumbling on her own feet, jumping at the slightest sounds and shaking so bad that she dropped her precious 'Angel Arm gun' while practicing.

A brief prognosis by a doctor said she was overly stressed.

So Vincent had ordered Danielle to drink lots of water and head back to bed, promising her that he'd buy her that Last Dead CD he owed her for their last mission that he's been too broke to purchase when she got better.

Vincent, you softie… This is why you can only afford Hawaiian T-Shirts from the reject shop and can't even have a haircut on a regular basis.

Anyway there she was, back in her bed and staring up at the ceiling where her '_Gears of War II_' poster was set in place, right next to her '_Guilty Gear, the Animation_' and '_Last Dead in Madrid_' posters.

She had been lying there for nearly two hours and still sleep continued to elude her.

"I give up." Danielle relented.

Rolling off the bed, the young girl dressed herself and decided to go for a stroll. Perhaps some time out in the fresh air and some water will cool her mind first.

* * *

Ashley silently crept through the training facility her eyes flicking cautiously at her surroundings. The regular training schedule had been slightly altered today. After curing her head of those sounds, Kauser had put her through an intensive course to properly whip his protégé back into shape.

Ashley peeked through the grating of the air vents and mentally ticked off the vents as a hiding place. Toilet, cupboards, under and over the furniture, curtains… she hadn't missed anything. Yet the hairs on her back were still tingling.

Kauser had really kicked up his training a notch. She couldn't even sense him. How odd, it was as if something was interfering with her senses…

_-are you the one?-_

Ashley stumbled as her vision suddenly began to swim and a purple haze commandeered her senses. What was going on?

_-are you the one?-_

Suddenly she found her feet drawn to the room across the hall. The empty room she had checked before this one. Opening the door, Ashley was surprised to see the room while still devoid of life now had a single object resting on a stand now in its center.

Taking an involuntary step back in surprise, Ashley instinctively tried to avert her eyes.

_-are you the one?-_

The logical portions of her mind shut down. Ashley's eyes dilated and she began to creep towards it in a trance.

In the center of the room was the most glorious object she had ever seen.

A neon purple electric guitar.

_-are you the one?-_

It drew her. It called to her. It summoned her.

Ashley walked over as if hypnotized by the magnificence that was this instrument of godliness (where was this coming from?) and picked it up, slinging the strap over her shoulders. A wicked smile crept across her face.

_-you ARE the one-_

Ashley plucked a string, and the world was filled with sound.

Damn that felt good.

* * *

Contrary to her beliefs, Krauser actually wanted to go easy on Ashley today. Her traumatic experience with 'Midnight Carnival' drew sympathy from him. Of course he wouldn't force her into anything over her head before she was ready.

He was strict, but not overly so. Even though Krauser was well known for pushing her hard, he knew Ashley had her limits. That and the fact that his suspicions were confirmed by that one guitar note, made Krauser seriously consider easing off on Ashley's normally rigorous training.

"She was more powerful than I had ever imagined." Krauser mumbled to himself. "What am I supposed to do?"

Krauser kicked a stray stone on the roof, wondering what could possibly be taking his student so long, when a blast of pure raw energy sent the man onto his knees. Having experienced his share of godly noise explosions, Kauser regained his balance and took off in a dead sprint, knowing full well what caused this.

Running down into the training facility, Kauser found his student lying on the floor unconscious, the most stupid smile plastered across her face. His worst fears were confirmed.

But how? The room was empty, and she was without an instrument.

Worried, Kauser began to shake the unconscious girl. "Ash'ey! Ash'ey! What happened?"

"Don't worry, she was just overwhelmed." A voice said behind him. Kauser whipped around to find a seductive, too-hot-to-be-legal demoness wreathed in purple light leaning casually against the wall. Nevan waved sweetly.

"You!" Kauser pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Hello Kauser, it's been a while."

* * *

Claes; Midnight Carnival was it? That name does ring a bell. I've listened to a few of their songs myself, but never actually taken a liking to them. How did this come to your attention anyway? You don't seem to be the kind of person who listens to rock, Black.

**Black; Danielle was going around trying to get everyone to listen to her CDs a just a week ago, but there was an incident with Ashley. It was pretty bad. Apparently she had a song stuck in her head. **

Claes; That doesn't seem like much of a problem, it's just a song.

**Black; It is if it almost drives the victim insane. I'm not entirely sure of the details, but it was something about 'anti-matter oscillations'. **

Claes; I've never heard of such an ailment before.

**Black; Neither have I. That's why I was up researching it all yesterday. A cure that involves a guitar amp must be worth some value to look into. Did you hear about the concert?**

Claes; Oh yes, Triela kept talking about it. She wants to watch it live… three days from now?

**Black; Yeah, three days from now. Even several members of the research staff are quite enthusiastic about going.**

Claes; I don't think I've ever gone to one of these concerts before.

**Black; True. It's too bad I won't be able to go, because this concert really does seem like quite an intres-asdfghjkl!**

_Black has signed off_

Claes; Black? What was that?

Claes; Black? Are you still there?

Claes; BLACK!

* * *

"Perhaps I used too many tranquilizers." Colt muttered as Black, whole back now very much resembled a dartboard after a game, slumped over her computer terminal. "Oh well, if I can dump painkillers down my throat like water, this kid sure as hell can take this."

Hefting the comatose Handsome Black over his shoulder Colt marveled at the ease at which he had acquired their replacement band member. According to Yuki Nagato's pre-programmed emergency substitute band member locator, this short kid was supposed to be it.

After a slight disaster in which a concert between ENOZ and Fire Bomber had almost been cancelled due to Koizumi and Basara being kidnapped by overzealous fan girls, Yuki had provided each and every self respecting rock band with her specially made compasses.

Purpose? Find emergency substitute band members who are as good as their missing ones to make sure that such a disaster never occurred again.

Sure the powers that be often dictated that such people find them, but it was good to be prudent and scout out candidates first… especially after it was discovered that people like a resurrected Ryoko Asukura was an eligible candidate for 'substitute band member'.

How the stage survived that concert with their substitute bass guitar trying to shank their band roadie, they did not know. But their Vancouver concert was something Kyon was keen to keep firmly set in 'the past'.

Back to the compasses. Colt didn't quite know how these worked. When asked how these compasses would find their just as good as their original band members, Yuki simply replied, "Homing Mode" and left it at that.

But its track record thus far was infallible.

Last Dead managed to find a last minute replacement for their Second Guitar in Soul Society concert. Sasuke Uchiha, second guitar, was kidnapped by the Society of Women Shinigami and one Ishida Uryuu, a kid with some wicked fingers, filled in the job quite nicely, although Naruto had to hold the boy at claw-point the entire concert since all the Quincy wanted to do with his 'wicked fingers' was sew.

ENOZ themselves used the compass before their Midland concert to find this super badass Guitarist named Guts to rock the FUCK OUT. Apparently he rocked so hard that some angels (pansies, all o' them) named the Godhand were so whipped by his performance they didn't even have the chance to respond to the Rock Off challenge, and were flattened in no time.

Last Colt checked, Guts was thinking of forming his own band. Midland needed some goodness to true rockers and those posers in the 'Band of the Hawk' were stinking up that country with, in Gut's own words, their 'piss-ass Philharmonic shit'.

All in all, it proved one thing;

The compass never failed. Period.

This girl was supposed to be their temporary Electronica Synths. Sure the kid didn't look like much, but the psychic trusted Yuki's judgment.

"Well, let's see what this kid can do!" Colt sniggered as he launched himself off the library balcony and down into the garden blow. "Y' know, I wonder why I got this feeling that all hells gonna break loose tingling around my neck."

* * *

Danielle had stumbled out of bed and into the garden when she saw something that made her wonder if she _had_ fallen asleep after all. The impossibility of what she was seeing was so unbelievable that Danny was struck motionless for a moment.

In her vision was Jeremy Colt himself.

Sure he was dressed in a faux ninja outfit, with his coat over it, and he had this girl she had never seen before over his back, but Danielle could recognize him anywhere.

She was thankful that her body had managed to hide behind one of the trees before deciding to shut down on her, because she was positive that if it hadn't he'd probably see her.

What frightened the adolescent girl most were the two conflicting thoughts running through her head. Lets see what's in her head shall we?

* * *

Enemy sighted. Total hotness, eyeballed!

Engage. Get his autograph!

Maim. Get his phone number!

Kill. Go out on a date!

Eviscerate. Get him to take you home!

?. ?.

Mission Complete, RTB. PROFIT!

* * *

The power of rock on impressionable little girls is fearsome indeed, to overpower her conditioning with such ease… no wonder so many worthy villains have fallen to its unstoppable power.

However, despite the two conflicting powers in her head, Danielle opted option (c); sit there gawking like a thunderstruck fangirl with drool coming out the side of her mouth.

Ogling Colt stretching his oh so fine muscular legs that she wanted to tear off and beat him to death with she felt her body stiffen with excitement. Danielle was compelled to walk up to him and simultaneously ask for his autograph while simultaneously filling him with lead.

But her legs refused to budge.

"Well that's done with. Back to the hotel." Colt announced.

Then he began to walk her way.

Her face drained of blood. "Meep!"

Danielle was suddenly scrambling up the tree as Colt neared her hiding spot. Thankfully as a cyborg she managed this feat in no time. Making sure she had a steady support in the foliage from the tree branches, Danielle watched with breathless anticipation as Colt passed below her, unaware that two sets of eyes were watching him from above.

Wait, two sets?

Danny turned to the surprised eyes of May from Handsome Gold staring right back at her. Without blinking, both cyborgs just hid in the cover of the branches while the whistling percussionist passed below them, still carrying an unconscious Black on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" May breathed out.

Unable to think up of any other more intelligible response, Danny fell back on the time old evasion response. "Could ask the same of you."

"Skipping sparring practice." May answered. "What about you?"

"He's the percussionist for Midnight Carnival." Danielle blurted out. She really couldn't think of anything else to say. A hand flew to her mouth in terror. She had let the cat out of the bag!

May's eyes widened. "You serious?"

Danielle nodded grimly. Now the adults would know and they'd never let her go to the concert, and she'd never be able to listen to their glorious music's again, and…

"Wow…" May whistled. "…can I have some of their CDs?"

Thankfully, May had a history with Colt, and was more or less his own personal fangirl already.

* * *

"And the best thing about her is that she's already doped up!"

That was the first thing Ashley heard when she slowly came too.

It took her another four milliseconds to realize that she was sleeping comfortably on this really big leather couch. A second after that her vision returned to her, and she found she was in rather stylish hotel room suite.

Marble flooring, gold carpet, musical instruments everywhere…

Ashley supposed she wasn't kidnapped by some terrorist organization. If she was then she'd be in a prison cell, not a pent house with odd looking people and her handler talking to them.

Groggily pulling herself to her feet, Ashley felt the blood drain out of her face when she realized what she was wearing. She was dressed in a really revealing jet black dress that was held together by an innumerable number of leather belts and silver buckles. Her bare shoulders shivered at the low temperature of the air conditioned room

What?

"I'm telling you comrade. Ash'ey is too young to be a guitarist." Krauser stamped his foot stubbornly.

"She's already got the sunglasses and the look. And would you look at her! It's like she was born to play Nevan!" The woman in that blood red leather getup with the wicked hat pointed out. "It's like all your unused talent jumped over to her or something."

"_Mein Gott_! I-No, I've tried to distance myself from that episode of my life the last twenty years. If this is just your way of dragging a replacement…"

I-No smiled knowingly. "You still have the DGG XM-1 SWA Guitar I had built for you right? I can feel its power… Someone used it to cleave the fabric of reality recently, am I wrong?"

"Well…" Kauser shuffled his feet bashfully.

"It would be better if we included the young girl in question in this conversation, should we not?" A scantly clad woman wreathed in corporeal shadows commented. Four sets of eyes zeroed in on Ashley, and the young albino gulped despite herself.

Her look was one of 'Please don't stare at me like that' and 'where did these clothes come from'.

The final woman, a teenage girl with the banner 'Brigade Chief' on her arm grinned. "Hello there 'Ashley'. Are you ready to learn how to rock the FUCK OUT?"

Ashley gulped.

* * *

Danielle and May had no idea what either of them was doing. They were trailing Colt as he lugged the heavy cyborg girl back to the hotel, using everything form trashcans to foliage as cover. Danielle even hid under a cardboard box at one point, and it was strangely effective.

They were out of bounds without permission.

They were following a wanted man with a bounty on his head.

They were acting like love struck stalkers.

Danielle and May didn't really know what to make of their behavior, but since they were already at it, might as well.

Colt sneezed suddenly. "Must be someone talking bad about me." He grumbled.

It was amazing how nobody was paying them any attention. There had to be at least sixty people on that side walk alone, yet nobody even stopped to ask why Colt was carrying an unconscious girl over his shoulder with two little girls trailing him.

Of course Colt, knew it was the power of Rock'in Music in play, but they didn't know that.

The two girls followed him all the way to this hotel a scant ten blocks down from the Handsome Men HQ, where he entered and went straight for the elevators. Not even the smartly dressed receptionists and the many wealthy hotel guests paid the man in the faux ninja outfit any heed.

Nor did they pay the two cardboard boxes that scampered across the polished marble floor of the lobby after him any notice.

Danielle even shook her head in wonder as Colt waited in the elevator to reach the fiftieth floor, oblivious to the two cardboard boxes at his feet. "This must me a dream." Danielle whispered. "Not even Solid Snake could use these that well…"

He even popped some pills on his way up.

They followed him out into the top floor into the penthouse, where he kicked open the front door as a victorious gesture.

* * *

"Hey guys! We got ourselves a live one!"

Five pairs of eyes went straight to the unconscious girl over his shoulder.

"Izzat our Synths?" Haruhi scratched her head. "Doesn't look like much."

"Well, Miyazaki 'didn't look like much', and look how she turned out." I-No grinned, remembering the bet she had made with Colt.

"Well yeah. Compass says it her, then it's her." Colt deposited the girl down on the couch. He then rounded on two gaping faces. "Hmm? Who's this?" He jabbed a thumb at the German man and leather clad albino girl.

"That is our new lead guitar." Haruhi said triumphantly.

"An Albino midget? Well if Nevan picked her she must have some talent." Colt rubbed his chin in contemplation. "Looks good in Lulu's duds. What's her name?"

"Her name is…"

"Jeremy Colt!" Kauser exclaimed as he jabbed a finger at the man in question.

Not having engaged Handsome Dead before, Colt was unaware that the 'albino midget' happened to be one of the killing machines he had faced so often from his time as a mercenary. "Please, no autographs."

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Errr, drummer?" Colt exclaimed sarcastically. Raising an eyebrow, Colt looked at him questioningly. "What's your name man?"

"I'm Krauser from the Handsome Men. I have orders to shoot you on sight." Krauser sighed, "Except I can't since you are a fellow bard now. Damn bard's code."

Colt folded his arms and nodded understandingly. "Ahhh that explains everything… who are the Handsome Men again?"

There was a collective sigh around the room from the band members.

Meanwhile while the five adults conversed Ashley noticed two cardboard boxes shuffle in through the open doorway and settle behind the kitchen counter. Curious, Ashley tugged on Haruhi's sleeve.

"What?" The brigade chief muttered in annoyance. Ashley pointed.

Haruhi grinned. "Hey people, check this out!"

Soon six people were crowded around the two (shaking) boxes.

"What the hell? Did some groupies decide to pull off a Solid Snake on us?" I-No prodded one of the boxes with her guitar, prompting a slight squeal from inside.

"Whoever these people are, they need some real training." Krauser murmured. "Snake's patented cardboard trick is old school stealth."

Haruhi rapped her feet impatiently on her floor. "Kick it open! I wanna see who's under there."

Colt obliged.

He delivered a soccer kick to the first box that would make David Beckham and the other great Soccer Legends proud. A stunned brunette was sent sailing into the wall and was promptly knocked unconscious after bouncing around the room a bit like one of those rubber balls you get from vending machines.

"Whoa." Haruhi noted. "Nice kick."

"Pfft! Childs play." Colt exclaimed as her reared up again to kick the second one.

After seeing what happened to Danny, May wasn't keen to get hit with all the kinetic force of a wrecking ball.

"Wait stop, Colt it's me!" May exclaimed throwing off the box in desperation. Both Ashley and Krauser went bug eyed when they say her crouching there. Perhaps she was hoping her black knight would recognize her and halt his attack, we would never know.

Unfortunately, Colt's kick was already in mid-swing, and he couldn't really stop it if he wanted to. The last thing that she managed to get out before the world became a blur to her was as follows;

"I just want the autograph!"

**

* * *

**

**Third Day**

* * *

The Handsome Men Headquarters was in an uproar.

Four of their cyborgs had suddenly gone missing overnight without any reasonable explanation. Danielle, May, Ashley and Black had just disappeared without a trace. It was even more concerning since Black was the most secret and well guarded of the Handsome Men. She wasn't even listed on any but the most heavily encrypted databases.

It was a security breach of unheard of proportions.

When questioning the handlers of the missing cyborgs, Vincent, Johnny and Krauser had simply answered that they had no idea. Vincent himself was so distraught with this development Superior finally relented and gave the poor chap the day off.

All operations were cancelled in the light of this most concerning development.

Of course, the black ops squad had no idea that just a few blocks down were their missing cyborgs. And two of those said missing cyborg were learning how to rock the FUCK OUT!

Of course, to those girls, it didn't seem that way.

* * *

Waking up upside down in the morning was not one of the things Danielle wanted to experience again anytime soon.

Danielle wondered whether she should feel honored or fearful that the horde of not-so-fictional anime characters had tied her up and hung her upside down in the bathroom of their very spacious hotel suite like a slab of meat in a freezer. They even went as far as to drape a signboard off her front, presumably saying something like 'divine punishment' if her knowledge of SHnY was any use in this surreal situation.

And furthermore, her captors had seen fit to put her in solitary confinement, May was nowhere in sight and was presumably outside the chamber. Alive or dead, Danielle didn't know.

Probably alive. Enemies of the state did not make a habit of hanging people upside down with signs on them like cartoon characters. There was absolutely no way kNIGHTs could possibly be behind this, this was too weird to be them.

As an anime fanatic, Danielle identified all her captors the instant she had laid eye on her faces and was completely stumped as to how they could exist. If she was rescued and asked by Superior for a description of her kidnappers and told them the exact literal truth, she would bet her entire collection of DVDs that nobody would believe her.

It was even more unbelievable than being kidnapped by a high school girl.

Yesterday, she was confused… well she was still confused, just a very different kind of confused. Yesterday she was full of angst and uncertainty, today she was more perplexed than anything else.

So many impossible things happening.

"This must be a dream." She surmised.

Captured by anime characters. Now Danielle had seen everything.

May on the other hand was treated to one of the weirdest things a mechanical body could ever witness with her own two eyes. Namely the members of Midnight Carnival fine tuning their substitutes for the concert. It was quite funny how she had managed to avoid Danny's fate, namely proudly declaring herself a groupie and asking for Colt's autograph.

Sure she was lying through her teeth about being a proud groupie, whatever that was, but the part about having a crush on Colt was real. And they gave her ice cream too, so it was all good.

Danny, who had slept the entire way through, failed to seize this opportunity. Now she was all but forgotten in the flurry of activity in preparation for the concert. She probably would have easily avoided her trip to the bathroom if she had asked very politely to join the S.O.S. brigade.

Alas, poor Danielle.

* * *

Ashley and Black had barely touched their respective instruments when glorious sound erupted from the air like some heavenly (or hellish, since we **are** dealing with the Demon Gods of rock) choir. Natural talent at it's best.

Krauser had gone back to the Handsome Men HQ to cover for them. Apparently, he was obligated to aid Midnight Carnival by something called the Bard's Oath, a fact that surprised the young cyborgs.

Since when did Krauser associate himself which such characters?

Anyway, the day was progressing smoothly. Proper costumes would be picked out for Ashley and Black, they'd have their sheet music memorized by the morning, and by the concert night, everything would be just dandy.

Or so they hoped.

* * *

"So the job is to run on stage and hold a rock band hostage? Who comes up with this stuff?"

"Hey, our employers say they're going to pay Bo-coup bucks for this. Those dolls have made us into fools for too long, holding up a high profile rock band playing in their hometown will make them lose face." The suited kNIGHTS officer shrugged. "It's a job, and they're just some random rock band."

"Don't call Midnight Carnival 'just some rock band'!" One of the assassins shouted from the back. A chorus of agreement moved through the assembled hired guns.

"I'm not doing this! It'll ruin the concert!"

Apparently, every single one of the assembled kNIGHT's gunmen were all Midnight Carnival fans, and they were NOT reacting well to their latest assignment. Insults started flying.

"You'll be paid six figures!"

Someone flipped the finger. "Screw that!"

The representative began to get nervous. "You'll all go down in history! You'll be famous!"

"I say we shoot him for even suggesting such a thing!" Someone cocked the hammer of his pistol. Many others began to follow suit.

Panic, desperation. "I'm sure you can get their autographs while you have them at gunpoint!"

Silence.

"…so when are we doing this again?"

A much younger Colt sat among the excited mercenaries he popped a bottle of aspirin. "I could be in Europe right now with Chloe having a ball. Instead, I'm holding up some rock band for ransom. What a drag."

* * *

"It's not that difficult." Haruhi goaded. "Just open your mouth and let the music spring forth. It's pretty simple."

Ashley shook her head vigorously.

"What are you two doing?" Krauser asked as he walked up to the Haruhi and her new pupil. He had successfully returned after a day of messing with the Handsome Men's stalwart efforts to locate their cyborgs.

It was surprising how easy it was to mess with the GPS tracking device system they had. It was as if the security around the computer labs was non-existent, and the firewalls were a joke, the super secret document containing all the passwords to mess with the system miraculously ending up on his desk by a clerical error.

Having the support of the Demon Gods of Rock might have had something to do with it, though.

Ashley quickly darted over to her handler and gave him her most sorry looking eyes.

"She won't open her mouth." Haruhi tapped her foot in irritation. "As the lead guitar, she will have to sing at some point. But she just refuses to even speak."

Krauser sighed. So that's what it was about. "When she became a cyborg, we had to replace her entire lower jaw, because it was blown off by a terrorist bombing."

"Missing her lower jaw?" Haruhi exclaimed. "How is she supposed to sing then?"

Krauser shrugged. Haruhi, furious at this development, stomped off angrily. Ashley gave her handler a very grateful look. He really took her out of the fire back there…

Ashley spoke too soon. Haruhi came back, this time with the compass and Nevan in tow.

"She can't even talk, Nevan! You picked a dud!" Haruhi seethed.

Nevan had her arms folded and was equally indignant. "I did no such thing. Ashley is the person with the most latent musical power in this entire dimension. I'm sure of it."

"Well, this should settle it! The compass never lies." Haruhi declared.

"Don't you people start using your weird devices on Ash'ey!" Krauser quickly attempted to snatch the compass out of her hands. Haruhi grinned. She dodged his wild swipes and peered in and found the compass head was shaking like crazy in Ashley's direction.

"What the… It's vibrating and stuff." Haruhi said with surprise. "It's never done that before."

Stepping around a protesting Krauser, Haruhi advanced on a cowering Ashley, compass in hand and moved right up next to their substitute. And she got a response.

The compass exploded.

* * *

That shocking revelation stunned even Haruhi. Despite her inability to sing, Ashley had so much raw talent that Nagato's compass couldn't take it. She quickly assembled the band members, and was currently figuring out how to get Ashley to unseal her vast powers.

Krauser quietly slipped away during Haruhi's excited drivel to I-No and Colt. He had other things on his mind. He wasn't alone.

Nevan found Krauser hiding on the balcony after that shocking explosion. "You knew what this girl was capable of, didn't you?"

"I did." Krauser confessed. He leaned forward, his arms on the metal railing and head angled down to obscure his eyes.

"And you didn't want her to use her talents." Nevan accused.

"No." Krauser replied. "I did not."

Nevan glared at him angrily. "How can you…"

"I didn't know she had it at first." Krauser revealed. "When I first picked her out, all I knew was that she was this Irish albino who had a jaw blown off. Nothing more. After that, I figured that it didn't matter how much talent she had. Ash'ey couldn't even talk anyway."

A silence settled between the two adults. "… you have to get over Mysterious Cook some time."

"He left the band so he could become a chef in a fine dining restaurant." Krauser scoffed. "If that wasn't an insult, I don't know what was."

"I had such high hopes for you 'Aggressors'." Nevan revealed. "And I'm not the only one. I-No didn't go through all that trouble to make the DaiKrauser just so it could gather dust in your basement, Krauser."

Krauser shook his head. "Those days are behind me now. My time as a Demon God of Rock is over. I'm just your run off the mill secret service agent now."

Nevan did want to point out that there was no such thing as a 'run of the mill secret service agent', especially one that had a short albino killing machine at his side, however she wisely kept her mouth shut. "And Ashley? Were you planning on letting her remain a 'run off the mill' cyborg killer as well?"

"My life was so much easier before you people came along." Krauser sighed. "The good guys and the bad guys. That was my life. No dimension hopping, no demon rock offs, no TSAB breathing down my neck… It's less stressful."

"But you lack the passion you once had."

"I thought this discussion was about Ash'ey." Krauser said.

Nevan chuckled. "You have me there. So, are you opposed to her playing for Midnight Carnival?"

Krauser stayed silent, as he thought deeply about the fate of his young protégé.

* * *

Danielle was beginning to have a migraine. The blood rushing to her head would do that.

The bathroom door opened. Jeremy Colt entered.

"Well, here's our little groupie." Colt said teasingly as he strode up to the bound captive. "How are you doing today?"

Danielle hissed angrily. "Jeremy Colt. 666 lives…"

"I'd close your eyes if I were you." Jeremy said as he hung his coat on one of the bathroom hooks. "I have to take a leak, and I'm sure there are parts of me you don't want to see." Colt began to undo the buckle on his belt.

Danny paled. "You wouldn't!"

He began to pull his pants down. "Eep!" Danielle shut her eyes as fast as she could.

Colt began to laugh. Danielle cracked and eye open. Colt, fully clothed, rolled on the bathroom floor in pure mirth. "Hahaha! I can't believe she shut her eyes! What an idiot."

Danielle grit her teeth angrily. That settled it. She hated Jeremy Colt.

* * *

"You're not Colt!" Danielle exclaimed. After freeing her from her bonds, Colt had taken the young cyborg out to their kitchen where he gave her some ice cream to fill her empty belly. Although she was still angry over his little prank to her, somehow the tasty ice cream she had reduced her feelings of hostility towards the man.

"Well, I'm not YOUR Colt." Colt explained. "I'm Jeremy Colt, drummer of Midnight Carnival and a musician of many talents. The Colt you're looking for is the Colt from this time period…"

"Time period…?" Danielle hopped up to her feet. "You're a time traveler! Haruhi found herself another time traveler!"

"…something like that." Colt affirmed. "Anyway, where I'm from is a long way from now."

"Hey, if you're from the future… do I ever manage to pound your face in?" Danielle asked elatedly. "You're from the future, so you should know!" Colt couldn't help but feel a bead of sweat run down his face. That was the stupidest thing he'd heard in a while.

"I'm here aren't I?" Colt replied. Danielle visibly deflated, and then suddenly brightened up.

"Hey, if I beat you up now…"

Warning bells went off in his head. He was currently sitting on the expensive fur couch. If she attacked him now… Haruhi would deduct his cut from the concert to pay for the damages. "It won't work!"

Danielle stopped, her arm raised in mid swing. "Why?"

"Well…"

Colt began thinking up bullshit excuses in his mind and finally came up with one. "I'm a reformed version of myself!" Inwardly he began beating himself over the head. There was absolutely no way she'd buy that. Haruhi would deliver a fate worse than death if he started a fight in the middle of their hotel room…

"So that means I kick you butt and take you in?" Danielle queried.

Lucky!

"Err, yeah." Colt nodded quickly. "So for me to become a member of Midnight Carnival, you have to fight the 'me' from now."

Danielle looked on at him skeptically. "You aren't pulling my leg are you? I've seen plenty of anime…"

"Hey Colt, is the second Groupie fed yet?" I-No walked in, noting that he seemed ready to run like hell and she looked ready to trounce him. "What happened to you?"

"She thinks I'm a gangster." Colt explained.

"He's not." I-No turned to Danielle. "He's an idiot, but we can trust him." Danielle seemed to accept this and lowered her fists.

Colt sighed in relief. Whew! Disaster averted.

* * *

"I'm surprised you and Colt don't get along." I-No was sitting on a stool tuning her bass guitar with Danny off to her side drinking a glass of Cola. Colt had left to buy more aspirin for himself with May following him under a cardboard box.

"We have a history together." Danielle responded.

I-No's mouth twitched humorously. "Hm? I've head this before, but I'd never expected it from someone as young as you."

"He made a fool out of me sometime ago. I've held it against him ever since." Danielle explained.

I-no laughed. "He makes fools out of all sorts of people whether he realizes it or not." She regarded the girl strangely. "I'd figured you two were friends from the way he went back to untie you. We'd all but forgotten you about then."

Danielle eyes widened in surprise. "He… for me?"

"More, or less."

Danielle lowered her eyes. Colt had come back for her after everybody had forgotten she was strung up upside down and forgotten even by her cyborg sisters in the flurry of activity. Danielle's heart was once again thrown into confusion.

"Miss I-No?"

"Yes?"

"Is this what a crush feels like?"

I-No shrugged. "More, or less."

* * *

Black stared at the script in her hands. On that sheet of paper were the lyrics to one of Midnight Carnival's songs. The paper trembled in her hands as her eyes flew over the text contained on it.

The words made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

No rhyme or reason existed in the entire thing. The lyrics were about a dead goat, a camel and snake, Egypt and Elvis, which didn't add up at all. There were grammatical errors all over the place. Black was certain that none of the words in the chorus even existed in the English dictionary.

It was the biggest insult to the English language she had ever seen since the creation of 'Val-speak' and 'Engrish'.

"So? You think you can sing this?" Haruhi asked, hands on her hips and her infamous ear to ear 'brigade chief' grin on her face.

"I-I-I-I can't!" Black replied. "This… this… this is a travesty to the English language!"

Haruhi's grin brightened. "This is exactly why I want you to sing it! You're perfect for a band, but you're too stiff!"

"I… nonsensical… can't possibly…" Black couldn't process the unfolding horror before her. For all her life, or at least the life she had known, she had lived by the avenues of logic and reason. This… This… nonsensical collection of grammatical errors and made up words flew in the face of everything she had ever known!

"C'mon, we didn't even compose this one." Haruhi pointed at the verse with the nonsensical words. "See here? This is here the mark of Japanese composer Yoko Kanno. She wrote this for the animated adaptation of '_Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Coat_' by Gonzo Entertainment."

"The what coat?"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Hm, guess Andrew Llyod Webber doesn't exist in this dimension."

"I can't sing this!" Black maintained. "How can you sing anything that does not make any sense whatsoever? It defeats the purpose of…"

"Bzzt! Wrong!" Haruhi crossed her arms in an 'X' to emphasize her point. "Singing has nothing to do with logic!"

"But historically, singing was a form of communicating…"

Haruhi bonked the young cyborg on the head. Divine Punishment! "Wrong again! Singing is all about Passion! The SOUL! Showing the power of your heart to the world! Using one voice to make a thousand hearts beat in tandem!"

The sparkle in her eyes was a clear indicator Haruhi was getting into it.

"Isn't it about money?"

"That's just an added benefit." Haruhi waved dismissively. "But what music, real music, is all about is the soul! You think Beethoven got anywhere because he was a genius? NO! He had one twisted and wicked soul and knew all the right stuff! Heck, he wrote the definitive 'End of the World BGM'. Not just anybody can do that!"

"The soul?"

Black nursed the glowing bump on her cranium. What in god's name was this mad woman talking about? Haruhi suddenly sneezed.

"Someone must be thinking about me." Haruhi said with annoyance. "Look, just sing the song. Practice makes perfect! One day you will learn the power of rock, I guarantee it!"

Black looked on skeptically. "No."

Stubborn atheist.

"Alright. If you're so insistent, I'll start you off 'slow' since signing is not a requirement for you." Haruhi grinned evilly. In fact this might be even better. Pulling out a large manuscript labeled 'Definitive BGM Music Collection', Haruhi ripped out one of the pages and handed it to Black. "I want you to memorize this one and be able to play it with at least sixteen different instruments by the end of the day. You won't even have to sing! Got it?"

Black was so shocked by the development, she didn't notice her hands taking the pages from Haruhi "Sixteen…?"

"Brigade Chief Orders! Get to it!"

* * *

And so the three hundredth commandment of the laws of our holy Haruhi Suzumiya shalt be; Handsome Black the Cyborg will be able to play her definitive theme background music with every musical instrument known to man.

* * *

And so, the eventful third day carried on.

The Handsome Men continued their futile efforts to find their missing cybrogs to no avail, Krauser's meddling and the powers that be working against them. They were but mortal men flying in the face of the demon gods of rock.

Ashley although unable to sing, was able to create music so amazing that Haruhi proudly declared the albino was now a probationary member of her Brigade.

Black too, proved adept with the Person's synthesizer, likening its use to that of a complex computer. How she made that connection was a mystery. On a side note, she had managed to learn that BGM music by heart, and y the end of the day she could play it in reverse on seventeen different instruments, including bagpipes and a big war horn.

Danielle drew up a contract with Colt that she would only attack his younger self from this time period. She later learned that the man himself was something of an immortal, practically un-killable, vulnerable only to a weapon that exists outside the rules of time space, specifically developed to destroy immortals such as him.

Seeing as how she didn't have such a weapon, Danielle more or less had her hands tied.. She still didn't know whether to kill him, or ask for his autograph. He seemed decent enough.

As for May… never mind. She spent the whole day just gazing at Colt like a love struck fool.

Eventually all that was left was to fine tune their two new members for the concert ahead.

And by fine tuning, they meant dolling the two girls up in all manner of weird and wonderful clothing styles that would make the two girls presentable to an audience of over five thousand. Strangely, I-No insisted that everything that the two must wear would only have the colors black, red and gold. With Nevan also very supportive of this notion, it was clear to everyone that something was up.

Before any of them knew it, it was the day of the concert.

**

* * *

**

**The Concert**

* * *

"Hey Claes, Midnight Carnival's concert will be on TV Soon. Want to come?" Henrietta asked the bespectacled girl. Claes was sitting in front of her computer staring at the chart window silently.

"In a moment." Claes said.

"Well, hurry Claes, its televised live. It won't wait for you.!" Henrietta rushed off towards the cafeteria where the other cyborgs were gathered. Claes sighed and turned off the machine, finally giving up her waiting.

"Where are you, Black?"

* * *

Black nervously checked herself in the mirror in the dressing room beneath the stadium where the performance was being held.

"Do I have to wear this?" Black observed the red and black schoolgirl outfit picked out by Haruhi herself. "It's… quite tight isn't it?"

"Hey be thankful we didn't give you any piercings!" Haruhi snapped as she draped the amazing dramatic cape over Black's shoulders. Adjusting the red witches hat with gold rimming Haruhi grinned. Yuki would be proud.

Across the room, Ashley made the final adjustments to her impressive black and red dress. Comprising of a skirt made of an innumerable number of black belts with gold buckles over her equally dark dress, which exposed her pale white shoulders, Ashley practically screamed goth with that ridiculously over the top getup. Just as Nevan helped her adjust the final buckles the woman exclaimed. "There! It's done."

"Okay, I guess it means that we're ready." Haruhi said with satisfaction as she gave the two new musicians a once over. "Nevan, if you would please transform into the Guitar."

"Gladly…"

"That won't be necessary."

I-No strode into the women's dressing room carrying a guitar in her hands. Any not just any guitar. Ashley looked on in surprise as she saw the unmistakable design of the Dynamic General Gibson X-treme Metallic Supersonic Wave Amplification Guitar Krauser Special.

The DaiKrauser.

"Ashley, this is for you. Krauser sends his best regards and apologizes for all the years he's held you from reaching your true potential. He'll be watching you from the audience." I-No handed the stunned girl the mighty weapon. The young girl was so sunned by the revelation she was rendered completely speechless… okay she was for all intents and purposes mute already, but you know what I mean.

"Hey, I-No, what's that you have on your back?" Haruhi noticed the unusual looking black red and gold bass guitar. It wasn't the usual blood red that I-No used…

I-No jabbed a thumb at the instrument. "This? It's the Dynamic General Gibson X-treme Adamantium Metallic Black Stallion Bass Guitar Mysterious Cook Special… also known as the 'Aussenseiter'. It's the brother guitar of the DaiKrauser. If the DaiKrauser is going to be played today, then this should be one the stage as well."

"Damn… I like it!" Haruhi said with a wicked smile on her features

"It's not really mine though." I-No admitted. "I'm just borrowing it."

"Borrowing it?"

"The original owner, Krauser's old friend and band member Cook, left this wild horse in my care until the Aussenseiter could find a worthy successor." I-No explained. "Since the DaiKrauer seems to have found one, I thought maybe bringing his younger brother onto stage would result in something."

"Then it's all good!" Haruhi declared. "Alright people! Get ready, we go live in five!"

* * *

Danielle stood backstage as the stage crew ran about, moments away from the big performance. The crowd had already filtered in. Looking out at the five thousand something people that Midnight Carnival would be performing for, she wouldn't help but wonder if her colleagues and sisters would be among their number.

"Ah, here you are!" Colt said as he walked up to her casually. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Colt…" Danielle whispered.

"Why the long face? You have front row seats don't you?" Colt teased.

"Thank you for helping me out." She gave a small bow. "I'm very grateful for what you did for me."

"No don't mention it." Colt waved with a brilliant sparkling smile on his face that glowed like the morning sun. Danielle's eyes narrowed at this.

"You're not acting like yourself. Something's up." She accused.

Colt looked taken aback, an immense amount of hurt and sorrow being reflected in his eyes. "I'm hurt Danny…" despite herself, Danielle blushed when he used her nickname. "Haven't I told you? I reformed and became nothing more than an honest musician."

Danielle scrutinized him more closely.

"Look, would these eyes hurt you?"

Colt then proceeded to unleash the most fearsome use of the 'puppy dog eyes technique' on her. Danny took a step back. No fair! People that age weren't supposed to be able to use this thing!

"Erm, okay… I'll believe you." Danielle blushed.

A radiant smile. "Thank you Danny! I'm so happy!" Danielle took a step back from the award winning smile. Okay. This was weird. Something was seriously wrong.

Was she on camera?

"Look Danny." Colt took a seat on a fold up chair. "I'd like to apologize to you for all the times we've fought to the death…"

Danielle couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I know we didn't get off on the right foot, but please understand the past me was…" Colt paused. Oh shit, what was he supposed to say again? His eyes drifted to his drum kit. Oh yes. "…just trying to make his way in a world gone wrong. I mean every day you turn on the news and all you see is war, strife and por… politics!"

Danielle could have sworn he was about to say something different, but she chose to remain silent.

"I mean, look at you! You're a cyborg! How wrong is a world that makes people like that?"

Danielle wouldn't argue with him there.

"Believe it or not, I'm not so different." Colt admitted putting as much sincerity in his voice as he could. "As you may have heard from my Band mates, I'm immortal, made this way by things outside my control. I'm cursed to live a life of pain and sorrow…"

Danielle felt a pang in her heart.

"But one day, I'll get better, and it's only because someone gave me a chance to become a good person." Colt finished. "So do you forgive me? We'd still fight each other but…"

Danny blushed and turned away.

"Okay."

In the instant Danielle turned away unable to see what happened next, Colt's face shifted into a malicious grin, his eyes glinting red as his evil plan came to fruition!

Just as planned!

He gave May a thumbs up from where she was hiding behind the drum kit with the speech cards. She sure knew how to put a speech together!

Colt mentally congratulated himself. By sweet talking this little brat, he'd make his younger self's life a whole lot easier. When he finally remembered who she was, Colt realized this was a golden opportunity to stop a crazy as hell cyborg toddler with the chip the size of Mount Olympus from coming after his butt for the next decade.

With luck this should be enough to dissuade too many pointless attempts on his life, especially the one on his nice getaway with Chloe in Italy. No assassins and hot sex? Jackpot!

Unfortunately for him, chronologically, this had already happened. Don't rain on his parade, please.

Suddenly…

"But I guess I can still capture you. With luck I'll take you in and we can reform you…" Danielle said with a smile. "Well I wouldn't be able to kill you anyway. Like you said no such weapon exists now."

Okay, maybe not as planned.

"Ha-ha. Yeah! As if you can kill me anyway." Colt laughed nervously, feeling the weight on a certain firearm in his gun holster…

* * *

In the multiverse there are thousands of different versions of a single person.

For instance, in most realities, Elsa de Sica had a hole in the back of her head.

In another she was alive and well, an avid fan of Star Trek, a normal high school girl who stalked grown men and was arrested for breaking restraining orders on a regular basis.

And in another… well, she wasn't a resident to one particular reality. In fact, she was part of a group of (not so) heroic band of heroes (money grubbing mercenaries) that hopped from dimension to dimension, saving people's butts though their gate opening Alchemist leader, Edward Elric, trying to find a way back to their home dimensions after a disastrous accident cast their collective asses to the wind.

In their adventures, they faced scores of foes.

Some pitifully weak, like am idiot ninja they ran across who wore orange, a pale imitation of Last Dead's lead singer. After hearing 'Believe it!' for the thousandth time, their swordsman erased the offending orange blot from existence. A few 'about damn time's were said, and the party moved on.

In others, well… They won't be picking fights with the TSAB again anytime soon. That White Devil was a real terror. Even their resident bloodsucker Celes Victoria (not to be confused with Seras Victoria) almost didn't come back from that one, and she was a freaking vampire! And to think that particular scuffle was all because they'd accidentally dropped an ice-cream on Vivio's hair. A mother's scorn is truly something to be feared…

Anyway, in the light of these too strong to be legal enemies, these resourceful dimensional refugees had to develop many tools and learn many new skills to survive in a really, really, hostile multiverse.

One of which was, a big black modified antifreak pistol designed to kill 'un-killable' foes.

Using the combined powers of the man who can see the lines of death, an alchemist who has been exposed to the philosopher's stone, and a master cyborg gunsmith with super strength, the creation of the 'weapon to use when you definitely, positively, absolutely, must kill every unkillable mother-fucker in the room' came into existence.

And Shiki owed Colt a big enough favor that the swordsman had to hand it over. How that happened, even the Shikiller had no idea. But Jeremy Colt, the last man you want to trust with a nuclear missile, now had an even deadlier weapon.

This was akin to handing a three year old the doomsday button.

In short, it was a ticking time bomb of epic proportions.

* * *

"It's starting!" Jainie exclaimed happily from the audience as a loud roar erupted and the stars of the show entered stage right.

Most of the Handsome Men had decided to come and see the concert. No, of course they had not forgotten about their missing cyborgs, they were clearly looking for their missing personnel in a densely populated area, happened to get stuck in the crowd and were unable to get out again. Nope, of course they hadn't dropped the search for their sisters and friend just to see a rock concert.

Jihad jumped up and wearing something other than her usual army fatigues in excitement. "Yeah lets get this fucking party started!"

…

Okay, maybe they did.

"Hey Vince, cheer up." Jose told the depressed handler. "I'm sure Danny will show up sooner or later. We just have to wait."

The Hawaiian t-shirt wearing handler looked like Hillshire did after Triela published her infamous self help book. A complete wreck. "I don't know Joseph." Vincent said despondently. "I feel like I'm a failure as a brother."

"Look Vince, we're at a freaking rock concert!" Jose had to shout to get over the noise of the jubilant crowd. "Cheer up man! Why do you think we came here anyway? Work?"

…

Okay… aside from Vincent, they'd definitely forgot about their missing cyborgs.

* * *

Somewhere in the city, Mr. Superior had the urge to start up enough paperwork to give all his handlers significant paycuts. But he resisted this irrational feeling. He knew they were somewhere out there, doing their jobs diligently. He admonished himself for his thinking.

They were the finest the United States had to offer, and he knew each one would die before failing at their jobs!

* * *

"I think I've died and gone to heaven!" Leon cheered.

Beside him, Krauser stood impassively. Watching the crowd full of happiness and hope around him, Krauser was hit with waves of nostalgia.

Cook, why'd you quit the band and become a mere chef in that good for nothing restaurant? Why'd you change your name and wear that mask? Everybody knew who you were. Even that Quattro bloke was less obvious than you. Was it some special training you were undergoing that you couldn't tell anyone?

Krauser closed his eyes and smiled. No matter. The future belonged to those kids now. He'd passed on the DaiKrauser, and with it, his title as…

* * *

Colt's voice echoed loud and clear through the entire stadium. The crowd went wild. "Hello everybody! Do I hear a…" Colt paused.

"Say it." Haruhi's threatening voice could be faintly heard. An audible, loudspeaker amplified sigh followed.

"…Zettai Daijoubu?" Applause and cheering. "Ahem. Well anyway, I have some bad news and really, really…"

"You suck at this. Give me!" Haruhi wrenched the microphone from the drummer "I'm sorry to say that Dante and Person won't be playing today…"

Silence fell on the stadium. Waves of curious murmuring washed through the crowd. No lead guitar? No Synths? What now?

"But hey, with Midnight Carnival, you know we always deliver!" Haruhi said triumphantly. "As we always do in emergencies like this, we have found the two brightest rising stars in town and taken them here!"

A loud applause broke out, arguably even more thrilled than before. Many hardcore fans remembered Miyazaki Nodoka's spectacular performance back at their Mahora and were more than happy to welcome two budding rock stars.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! I give you… Handsome Dead, Ashley Zormvolt and Handsome Black, Black Feinschmecker!"

* * *

Comfortably reading some surveillance reports in his office, Mr. Superior suddenly did a spit take for no apparent reason. "What the… what the heck was that?"

* * *

From the VIP box, a certain young man sat up in his chair in surprise. Grabbing a pair of binoculars conveniently nearby, he zoomed in on the young albino guitarist as if to confirm his suspicions. He grinned ear to ear with excitement.

"Ashley!"

* * *

In the audience…

"Holy Shit!" Love exclaimed. "What the hell is Ashley doing up there?"

"Who's the other girl?" Jihad noted curiously. "I know that's Ashley, but I don't remember a Handsome Black…"

* * *

And in Italy…

"Couldn't be…" Claes said wide eyed as the replacement synths waved nervously at the camera.

"Wow Jean! This is so exciting!" Rico exclaimed. Her handler, seated beside her, could only nod his head in bafflement. How the heck had Handsome Dead, somebody completely mute according to the reports, gotten on stage with Midnight Carnival of all people?

"Are those Danny and Yuki's friends up there?" Henrietta wondered curiously.

* * *

"As they are minors, these are of course their stage names…"

"Bullshit!" Colt coughed into his fist. All they did was take a hat filled with various family names and drawn up two at random, giving Ashley and Black some really funny looking surnames to make it all look cool.

He was promptly struck by static electricity from the ground. Divine Punishment!

"…and today, they'll ROCK THE FU-"

Suddenly from behind the stage, a horde of armed men with guns flooded into view. Armed to the teeth with high powered rifles and looking completely tripping in those Amanti suits, the kNIGHTS agents made their move.

Running everywhere and taking the entire band by surprise, soon all five members of Midnight Carnival, including substitutes, had no less than six guns pointed at their person at any one instant. Silence fell on the crowd.

One fiery haired woman armed with twin Berettas ran up to Haruhi, grabbed her mic amidst her protests, and yelled to the world…

"A'RIGH'! THIS IS A FUCK UP! NOBODY MOVE!"

* * *

In the city of villains, a certain nun collapsed laughing when she saw this dreadful display. Revy's command of the English language had sure degraded after her trip to Japan if she could make mess up like this!

"Sis-E, is Miss Revy going to be alright?" Rebecca said from beside the laughing nun. "I mean, they _are_ holding hostages right outside the Handsome Men headquarters…"

"Ah, she'll be fine!" Eda tired to control her giggling. "Revy wouldn't die even if you killed her. Besides Rock has a good head on his solders. I'm sure right about now he's saying something wise and profound…"

* * *

"… Revy, it's 'this is a stick up'." The only unarmed mercenary on stage explained quietly. He looked like nothing more than an 'unremarkable ordinary Japanese salaryman'. "And this is a hostage situation, not a bank robbery."

"I knew that. Shut up Rock."

"Hey, you assholes sure we got the right place? You sure this is the Midnight Carnival Concert and not a Costume Party?" One of the gunmen suddenly said from the back.

"Quite certain my friend, I'm getting I-No's… why thank you ma'am you do look stunning in that hat… autograph right now." One of the hostage takers, a smiling man with a very wide brimmed hat and a ridiculously long coat named Akabane tilted his hat politely to a woman he'd always wanted to meet.

This wasn't normally his line of work, but for I-No… "Why do you ask?"

Colt nudged his pistol into his hostage's face. "I'm holding a gun to the head of a guy who looks like me, dresses like me, and has sixteen packs of painkillers under his trench coat like me."

Jeremy Colt, the drummer not the gunman, rolled his eyes as the hostage situation 'intensified'. He'd just been taken hostage by himself. "Okay, I think this reaches a whole new level on the weirdness scale."

* * *

"Oh my god!" Rico said in anticipation, bounding up and gown with glee. "They've taken midnight Carnival Hostage! This is so exciting!"

The cybrogs of the SWA watched with awe as the kNIGHTS made their demands, delivery of ten billion dollars via helicopter and that all female officers in the U.S. Navy wear miniskirts henceforth, while the surprisingly amused hostages looked on, clearly not intimidated by the fact that armed men could attack them at an instant.

"This is big!" Triela agreed. "I bet I'll make rock history!"

"The Handsome Men won't let this slide." Ferro noted. "This is right outside their backyard so I'm sure they're already planning…"

Suddenly all of the Handsome Men's cyborgs and their handlers ran up onto the stage, guns ready. "HANDSOME MEN, YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST!"

"…That was fast."

"How'd they get up there so quickly?" Jean said to himself. "Were they among the audience or something…?"

The door to the briefing room the group was using as their own personal cinema flew open.

Lorenzo, demon boss of the SWA, suddenly stormed in. Everyone, handlers and cybrogs alike, looked like the proverbial 'kids with their hands in the cookie jar'. Instead of admonishing them for their behavior, Lorenzo merely pointed at the television screen.

"THAT is how fast I want us to be able to react to a crisis situation in the future." Their leader declared. "Can it be done?"

"I believe so sir." Jean replied.

"Good." Lorenzo moved towards them. "Now make room, if my entire staff is here I can't possibly miss out on this."

Stunned, they allowed the old man to sit in between Angelica and Claes. "Now watch closely my friends, I'm sure that we can learn something meaningful…"

"Huh? A standoff? What the hell?" the terrorist named 'Revy' spoke into the mike.

"…never mind."

* * *

Somehow, despite the numerical imbalance the kNIGHTs and their mercenary allies had in their favor, their frenzied fighting had come to a stalemate on stage. It was ridiculous.

How did they fit all those people on this small platform anyway?

Mysteries of life.

It was so bizarre, Haruhi Suzumiya had actually left the stage unseen in the confusion, presumably to escape… or heat some microwavable popcorn. This was good entertainment with front row seats.

"Wait a sec, is that guy in that office getup holding a folding chair as a weapon…?" Triela squinted to better confirm her statement.

"Hey look!" Henrietta pointed. "It's Danny!"

Behind one of the stage props were two crouching figures, unnoticed by the figures pointing weapons of blood and death at each other. The only people who could break the standoff…

Her sister was about to save the day.

Henrietta felt so proud…

* * *

A Mexican standoff.

The only ones who weren't in it were the people holding musical instruments and two girls of the Handsome Men, hidden behind one of the stage props.

"It's down to us now May. Time to show what the forward attack unit can do." Danny said.

"Right." May nodded, already picking out her victim.

"I'll take on Colt." Danielle said quickly. Danielle shifted her weight on her back leg as she prepared to leap into the younger Colt's unprotected back…

"You won't touch him!" May hissed as she roughly yanked on Danielle's hair. "As the president of the Jeremy Colt Fan club, I will stop yo…!"

Danielle brought her knee up into May's abdomen knocking the wind out of the surprised cyborg. May stumbled into full view of all the people in the stadium, gasping for breadth like a drowning person. Then the girl fell the her knees, winded.

Danielle strode up to the self-professed president of a non-existent fan club…

"Danny?" Vincent shouted in surprise as his missing cyborg appeared out of nowhere and advanced on the kneeling coughing May.

"Keep your eyes on the guy with the weird smile Vince!" Jose admonished.

…and, then in full view of the camera and televised live to fifty locations worldwide, Danielle performed a vicious curb stomp on her esteemed colleague.

* * *

Across the world, a concerned older sister's mouth dropped as this savage display of barbarism.

May rolled on the ground in agony. Had May's skull not had reinforced steel in it, that move would surely have ended her! Danny coolly brushed her stray lock of her hair out of her face and made a taunting gesture. "Bring it, sister."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" May launched herself at Handsome Blue, and a vicious catfight began, the entire world watching as two billion dollar cyborgs proved that they were indeed adolescent girls with raging hormones.

All eyes on two girls pulling at each other's clothes like vicious tigers. A ripping sound, followed by a good portion of May's torn shirt flew through the air.

Colt, the drummer, decided this was the perfect time to act. Producing a rubber baseball bat that he hid under his drum kit, Colt brought his tool of destruction down on the back of an unsuspecting Vincent's head. The startled handler crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

With a gun no longer pointed at his head, Akabane could move again, not that mere bullets could possibly hurt him anyway but he liked keeping up appearances. Dr. Jackal's first move was to turn the suited kNIGHTS officer, the very man who hired him, who was keeping a gun to Krauser's head into a not-so-living pincushion, allowing another person to act.

The standoff was broken.

"Free for all!" Colt, doesn't really matter which one, shouted with glee.

Then fighting broke out among the people on the stage. With the sheer number of people involved, it was like a John Woo action flick or the hundred man scene from the Matrix Revolutions.

And the melee began in earnest.

* * *

Bullets, knives, scalpels, rocks, everything started flying. Blood spurted high into the air. Howls of pain and anguish could be heard. Clothes were torn in inappropriate places. Parents began calling the broadcasting stations with complaints.

And all of it, the brutal savagery and suggestive material was televised live, world wide.

"Shouldn't we join in?" Black asked Ashley.

Both girls considered this for an instant. Looking down at their costumes both girls quickly threw the idea out the window. Ashley motioned to Black's school uniform which had an inappropriately short miniskirt.

As for Ashley… "I'm not sure your dress can hold together if you started moving too fast." Ashley, sharing her opinion, nodded.

And so the two cyborgs wisely stayed off to the side as the wild melee intensified.

* * *

"Victory!" Danielle announced triumphantly, punching May's lights out and hurling the girl, clothed only in torn rags, off the stage. Her hair was disheveled; she was sporting a black eye. The left half her shirt was torn exposing her pretty pink Hello Kitty bra. May had taken her skirt as a last ditch attempt to win, leaving Danny in her Sailor Moon panties…

* * *

In Italy, a certain Henrietta Croche was brawled her eyes out into Triela's comforting arms. She saw her sister lose her skirt in front of an audience of at least twenty million. Danny was so… so… shameless! She was a failure as an older sister!

* * *

… but Handsome Blue was itching for more. Scanning the confusing melee, she spotted her prey. "Jeremy Colt!" She declared, pointing her index finger at the younger version of MC's drummer. "In the name of truth and justice I will punish you!"

The younger Colt tossed Yuki into Janie, knocking both girls off the stage. He looked at the young girl who had just challenged him. "No offence kid… but nobody can take you seriously when you're dressed… okay you aren't dressed. That's the problem."

Danielle charged at the pill popping mercenary and both combatants fell to the floor grappling each other in a battle to the death.

* * *

Whump! Another poor soul was sent flying off the stage as I-No swung her bass guitar with ruthless skill. "Nice showing I-No!" Haruhi gave her band mate a thumbs up, eating some popcorn she had mystically procured while this was going on.

One the other end of the stage, Akabane was having the time of his life. He was slaughtering people left and right, his scalpels leaving bloody streaks of crimson sailing through the air. Never mind that all of his kills up to this point were his supposed allies but… oh well.

"Damn it! These kids are as tough as Eda's midget!" Revy cursed as she emptied another chip into air as Matilda dove behind another meat shield. "Rock! This is getting too hot! We're leaving!"

"About time!" Rock declared, smacking the folding chair he was using as a weapon upwards into Love's exposed chin. "This one was going me some problems!"

Love sailed through the air, eyes wide with shock as she fell off the stage in a dramatic arc.

"How…?" Love whispered as she watched the two pirates flee the scene in her dimming consciousness. Even with all Emir's training, she had fallen to a average man wearing a white shit, tie, and wielding a fold up chair as an impromptu weapon.

"He's just ordinary Japanese salaryman…" Thump! Love hit the ground head first and was knocked unconscious.

She had never learnt the golden rule.

Lesson kiddies, don't underestimate Japanese people who have the words 'ordinary' in their description. Especially if they are salary men or high school girls. They could be complete bad asses in disguise under that unassuming exterior, and possibly are in possession of large amounts of magical powers, fighting ability or just plain badassity in its purest form.

Too bad for Love, Emir had forgotten to teach her this.

* * *

Meanwhile, Colt too, was having fun.

Waving his baseball bat around like that crazy kid with the roller skates, Colt was having the time of his life. It was like he was playing Super Smash Brother's Brawl, with each swing of his bat sending suited cannon fodder flying off into the distance in every possible direction. This was more fun than using guns!

Oh, he missed this!

Then someone bumped into him from his back, and Colt was jolted forward. Colt would have whirled around to smack the sucker with his baseball bat, but he felt something important happen… his eyes to went to the gun in his underarm holster as it slipped out and began a show decent to the ground…

* * *

"I just know I'm going to regret this." Shiki said has he handed the jet black gun over. "If I find out you used it on anything but in an end of the world situation, I'll beat you so hard your great grandparents will feel it."

Colt raised an eyebrow. "Why the fuck should I care about my grandparents?"

"You know what I mean." The Incarnation of Death glared dangerously. "You can create dimensional anomalies with this thing if you aren't careful. DO NOT do anything stupid with this gun. Don't do anything that will land us up shit creak you hear me?"

"Yeah, Yeah." Colt dismissively waved him off.

"I mean it!"

* * *

"Oh shit!" Colt, the drummer, discarded his bat and made a dive for the gun as it fell. As luck would have it, he caught it at and odd angle and his finger snagged on the trigger.

Bang!

It discharged… into the younger Colt who was in the middle of a fierce melee with Danielle. Instantly all movement in the stadium halted. Immortal or no immortal, the Jackal replica that Shiki Tohno, Edward Elric and Elsa de Sica had had crafted worked its magic. Colt's jaw dropped as the younger man exploded into his component atoms.

**

* * *

**

**TIME PARADOX!**

* * *

"Ah…" Colt has the stupidest look on his face as he realized he'd just performed the grandfather's paradox on himself. Everybody in the stadium, from the band members, the cyborg assassins, their handlers, the audience… everybody… shifted their eyes onto him.

So THAT'S what it feels like to have over five thousand pairs of eyes staring at you simultaneously.

Colt shrugged. "Um, my bad."

The ground started shaking. A huge unnatural tear opened up in the dark sky as an ominous red light shorn through the crevice. The audience started screaming.

Haruhi and Danielle rounded on him. "Colt you unbelievable fool!" Haruhi shook him by the collar. "You… you… you shot yourself! Damn it Colt! You created a Time Paradox! This is the stupidest thing you've done yet!"

"Making the impossible possible. Twenty four seven." Colt nervously chided. Suddenly he was grabbed by another much stronger set of hands.

"You Lied! You said he couldn't die!" Danielle joined Haruhi in shaking the immortal down. "He was mine! I thought we agreed he was mine! I was supposed to take him in!"

"That's kind of morbid you know…" Black said off to the side.

"Oh my god!" One panicked young woman in the audience, the I-CARE janitor, cried as flaming German Sheppards started raining down on the panicked citizenry.

"Oh dear." Akabane mused. "It seems like this is one job that I will sadly be unable to complete." With that, Doctor Jackal turned and walked away.

All eyes trailed the legendary transporter.

Doctor Jackal, THE Doctor Jackal, just walked out on a job. This meant one thing…

"Everybody run!" Leon shouted upon seeing the flaming missiles. The assembly of cyborgs, secret agents, kNIGHTS agents and groupies decided that was a pretty good idea. A wild dust cloud was kicked up as fifty odd bodies scrambled over each other to flee impending destruction.

That left the Midnight Carnival Trio, Krauser, an unconscious Vincent, Danny, Black and Ashley on the stage.

* * *

Ashley grabbed Krauser by the sleeve and desperately tried to drag her handler to safety. He palmed his face. "Don't bother going anywhere. The safest place in a situation like this is the epicenter of the paradox. Here." Though she did not really understand his reasoning, Ashley let go of his sleeve.

"So, uh, what happens now?" Colt laughed nervously. Fire and brimstone was beginning to rain from the sky, and a suddenly the famous musical piece of 'Ode to Joy' started up in the background.

"Well now that you've created a time paradox by shooting yourself, this world explodes." I-No said in a deadpan tone.

Colt had an 'oh, I've done it now' look on his face. "Oh. We won't get sued for this will we?"

"Well, if the world blows up, then we can't get sued because no one will be left." I-No logically and calmly explained.

"Can't you three do anything?" Black asked, panicked at the sight of the devastation unfolding from beyond the stage.

I-No shrugged. "Well it's not as if we'll have the chance. You see, the universe has an automatic defense mechanism to prevent this world's destruction from spreading. In the event like this, the cause of the paradox is erased…"

"Huh? No famous last words? Well, that sucks…" As if on cue, Colt blinked out of existence without having so much as a complaint. Danielle was left with grasping thin air where she was viciously shaking his collar a moment before.

Danny was furious. "Ah! Even this is denied to me? RARRGH!"

That settled it. She hated Jeremy Colt. She would hate him until the end of time.

* * *

Off stage; "Hey you can't kill me off! I'm not even your character!" Colt hollered with indignation.

Pipe down! You'll be back!

* * *

I-No didn't even notice Colt was gone. "And all foreign entities are unceremoniously ejected from the collapsing plane of reality to safety…" Bam! Haruhi and I-No were gone, leaving their respective instruments, including the Aussenseiter, to fall onto the stage with a clutter.

"…leaving no one to save our lives." Black whimpered. "Oh dear…"

The ground shook with the sheer volume of the orchestra music playing in the background, opening up huge chasms that had rainbow colored molten lava shooting out.

"It's the end of the world…" Black said in awe. "Strange, none of the religious texts I've read ever made me expect anything like this."

"Well, I can tell you exactly where those flaming German shepherds came from." Danielle pointed at the burning animals falling from the sky in droves. "Whoever came up with this setup obviously plays Elder Scrolls."

Ashley watched her two cyborg sisters regarding their immanent doom with wonder. She looked at her handler with a curious expression on her face. 'Shouldn't we be running?'

Krauser lit a smoke and took up a seat on the empty drummer's chair. "It's the end of the world. Any idea where we can run to?"

"Ashley!" A voice called.

While everybody was running out of the stadium, away from the stage, one young boy was running towards it, skillfully dodging the rain of dogs as he moved towards his goal. Graham. He scampered up the stage, his foot accidentally landing on the unconscious Vincent's stomach, who gave a small grunt and remained unconscious, and ran up to Ashley and Krauser.

This was a moment

* * *

ous occasion where two fated lovers were reunited amidst the backdrop of a scene of total devastation. If 'Ode to Joy' wasn't already playing, some romantic music might just be what the doctor ordered.

"Your permission sir?" Graham asked.

Krauser shrugged. "Knock yourself out."

Then Graham whirled about, placed both his hands on her shoulders and then planted one very big kiss on Ashley's lips. We're not talking about puppy kisses here. This is the 'end of the world' after all. No it's one of those super romantic big budget three minute snogs that you see so often in Hollywood movies where two lovers kissed like there was no tomorrow, because there really wasn't going to be one.

Black turned away, a blush forming on her cheeks. Danielle gave a low whistle in the background. You go girl!

Purple lightning started raining down onto the battered landscape as the volume of the background music increased. It was the end. With their only hope of survival forcefully ejected stage left, the fate of this plane of reality was sealed.

Ashley melted into her loving kiss, now running at five minutes long without either party coming up for breath. At least, now she could die happy.

And so, with no way to stop the unfolding Armageddon, this plane of reality was doomed. However, with the band members of Midnight Carnival safely away from the destruction, sans one idiot, hope still carries on.

**

* * *

THE EN-BLACK OVERRIDE!**

* * *

Instantly, the collapse of reality from Colt shooting himself with the Slider's special gun was halted as a very particular and catchy tune smashed through the unraveling threads of reality.

"Black, did you just override the background music?" Danielle said in astonishment.

Black had abandoned her synths and scooped up the Aussenseiter, the only other instrument on stage beside the DaiKrauser capable of manipulating the fabric of reality, and was playing out the same set of notes again and again.

They say god works in mysterious ways. Haruhi teaching Black how to play this one particular theme music is proof of this. Somehow, this powerful tune had completely drowned out 'Ode to Joy', temporarily staving off certain doom.

That tune, Danielle knew it!

Then it hit her.

Suddenly Danielle couldn't help but laugh. 'Black Override' indeed! All that was needed now was an 'Episode 30' to top it all off…

"Ashley! Quit snogging your boyfriend! Sing! Do it now!" Black screamed as she ran up to the mute girl.

Both Graham and Ashley's beautiful Hollywood moment was interrupted. Both children looked at the rocking girl with wide eyes. Reality was coming apart around them and Black wanted her to SING? "Sing damn you! You're our last chance, and I can't play this thing forever!"

How? I can't even talk! Saving the universe is a little much for little old me you know.

"They saw something in you! Nevan, Krauser, everybody… The compass even exploded! You have to SING!"

Ashley looked at Danielle. "Well, no harm trying right?"

Ashley looked at her handler. "I'll take care of the drums Ash'ey." Krauser said, picking up the sticks and giving them a little spin. "Give it all you got."

Ashley looked at Graham by her side. "Well I was looking forward to hearing your performance." He flashed a shy smile.

That did it.

Ashley steeled herself, blocking out the tune of 'Black's really catchy overriding BGM'. Creating a mental barrier of perfect silence in her mind to block out the background music, Ashley reached into her soul… and found a song. She righted her posture, her fingers resting lightly on the strings of the DaiKrauser and her guitar pick ready to go.

Taking a few calming breadths, Ashley opened her mouth…

**

* * *

EPIDSODE: 30!**

**THE GUITAR THAT ROCKS DIMENSIONS!**

**WAR GOD AXE, DAIKRAUSER!**

* * *

"Yatta! Episode 30!" Danny jumped in the air in delight. Black didn't know what 'Episode 30' meant, but now wasn't the time to ask the excited Danielle about that.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Ashley opened her mouth and sang.

And there was awesome.

* * *

"_**Kimi ni au mae no, jibun wo wasureta mitai ni…**_

_**Kimi ga ita koro no, kioku wo wasurerareta nara,**_

_**Donna ni ii darou…"**_

* * *

It wasn't soft or nervous like her previous experiences, but a loud confident voice that reached out to the hearts of all her audience, those still alive and those who were merely whips of life energy being drawn to oblivion.

She didn't feel any pain or discomfort as she sang into the wailing abyss. In fact, Ashley felt pretty damn good.

Black, overcome by the power that had just been unleashed, realized her hands were moving over the bass guitar in an entirely different set of notes than the ones she was using before. There was no logic in what was happening, merely going with the flow and loving every minute of it. She didn't even understand Japanese. Yet everything felt so right.

This… this was what it felt like to ROCK?

* * *

"_**Kazoekirenai hoshikuzu no naka,**_

_**Dokoka de sotto, mimamotte kureteru hikari wo…**_

_**Bokura ha ima mo koko de sagashiteru!"**_

"_**Shiawase ha itsudatte ushinatte hajimete!**_

_**Shiawase, to kidzuku chiisa na fukou!**_

_**Ima datte kitto mada ma ni au hazu dakara!**_

_**Negai ha tatta hitotsu…"**_

* * *

"_**Kokyuu to onaji, kazu dake naita sono ato ni…**_

_**Machiuketeta no ha kono saki eien ni tsudzuku,**_

_**Kimi nashi no sekai."**_

* * *

"_**Hyakunen tattemo, ienai kizu to, ienai kotoba,**_

_**Sore dake wo, michishirube ni shite…**_

_**Bokura ha ima mo koko de ikite iru!"**_

"_**Shiawase ha itsudatte ushinatte hajimete!**_

_**Shiawase, to kidzuku chiisa na fukou!**_

_**Ima date, kitto mada ma ni au hazu dakara!**_

_**Negai ha tatta hitotsu!"**_

* * *

Ashley broke into an awesome Guitar riff that shook the foundations of time and space with the sheer amount of awesome she was giving off. The vibrations given off by her guitar riff came in tune of the vibrations that were slowly tearing the world apart, reversing the flow of the damage and mending and restoring the tears.

She could almost hear the jubilant cries of the excited audience in front of her…

And suddenly she realized that they were in fact cheering. The tears were sealed. The world was right again, and they were playing remarkable rock music in front of an audience of five thousand who were jumping up and down with glee.

Carried on the waves of sound like a great war god on a majestic black stallion, Black and Ashley rode their music, their hearts in tune with all those in the stadium and beyond. Handsome Dead never had felt so alive.

"_Ah, so this is the power of rock…"_ Black thought to herself. Supporting her band mate as they continued their song, a genuine smile graced her features. _"Pretty amazing… ha-ha…"_

* * *

"_**Shiawase ha itsudatte ushinatte hajimete!**_

_**Shiawase, to kidzuku sasayaka na koto!**_

_**Shiawase ha itsudatte nakushite hajimete!**_

_**Shiawase, to kidzuku taisetsu na koto!**_

_**Ima datte kitto mada ma ni au hazu dakara!**_

_**Negai ha tatta hitotsu,**_

_**Dokomademo oikakeru yo!"**_

* * *

Her hands ripped across the instrument in her hands, and the world was filled with cheering and jubilation. With one last stroke the song ended. With one triumphant cry, both girls declared victoriously to the entire world…

* * *

"**THERE IS NOTHING OUR MUSIC CANNOT OVERRIDE!"**

* * *

The crowd went wild. Graham broke into thunderous applause, tears streaming from his eyes.

Danielle collapsed with blood spilling out of nose, her greatest anime fantasies coming true. Vincent woke up, saw awesomeness, couldn't take the power, and fainted again.

Rock on.

* * *

"So reality is completely fixed?" Haruhi questioned

"Ashley and Black completely re-wrote the events of the last few days." Krauser noted with relief. "Everybody outside the stage was affected. The Handsome Men never found out Colt was with Midnight Carnival, the concert went off without a hitch, Colt's younger self was in Europe shagging a hot chick so he couldn't get shot by himself… the list goes on. Danielle agreed to keep quiet about the whole thing and May has amnesia thanks to the rewrite… not that anyone would believe them anyway."

"So all well that ends well?" Haruhi said disappointed. "I don't know, a reset to save the world seems so cliché."

"Well, it's either that or we permanently lose a band member." I-No sighed with satisfaction.

Haruhi had to concede I-No had a point. Colt, for all his infuriating behavior, was useful in all sorts of ways. "And our two new Demon Goddesses of Rock?"

"Well, for now they've agreed to have Nevan place a demon seal on their powers." Krauser shrugged. "It'll last until they die, after which all their pent up power will be released. Only then will they become proper Demon Gods of Rock."

"I'm not surprised." I-No noted. "The nature of Ashley's power means that she could very well undo all her repairs if used carelessly. Better to wait until the wounds heal better until she starts trying to learn how to control it."

"Well I wanted them to join my Brigade." Haruhi pouted. "Talent like that should be allowed to run free."

"Where's Colt?" Krauser quickly interrupted. If Haruhi's train of thought was allowed to continue, that would be very bad. "He should be okay now that the paradox was corrected, right?"

Both girls exchanged glances then looked at Krauser answered in monotone. "Divine Punishment."

Krauser winced.

* * *

"Krauser, could you do me a favor?" I-No asked when he was about to leave.

"Yeah?" The German said.

I-No held out a bass guitar case containing the Aussenseiter to him. "Get this to Black will you? I think this wild stallion's found its true master."

Krauser took the case from her hands. "You sure about this? It's a collector's item."

She shrugged. "Black was never my color anyway."

Krauser smiled. He couldn't agree more.

* * *

Safely back in the dorms, Ashley lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling in deep though. Right now, she was wondering if she and Black had made the right decision in sealing their powers.

It seemed right at the time, the weakened fabric of reality was only held up by the music she had played. With the injuries this plane had sustained by Colt's accidental killing of himself, there was every possibility that if she even touched another musical instrument all that work could become undone in an instant.

As much as it upset Ashley, she would have to live her life as Handsome Dead a little longer.

One human lifetime, Nevan had said. One human lifetime before it would be safe for her to unleash music again. One human lifetime suddenly seemed too long for her.

Well, she wasn't going to live that long anyways…

A knock on her door.

Ashley jumped to her feet and let her visitor in. It was Danny. "Hello Ashley! I'm here to deliver your mail today!" Ashley tilted her head. "Yeah, someone sent you something. Krauser said it was okay to give it to you, so well, here it is."

Danielle handed Ashley a non-descript envelope. Curiously wondering what was in it, Ashley reached into the envelope and withdrew the small A5 sheet of paper inside. She couldn't believe her eyes. The page was blank, save a single line written directly in the center of the sheet. Yet that one line had suddenly made the albino's day into a very good one.

'_Thanks for saving the world, look forward to your next concert! You Rock! – Graham.'_

Ashley felt her heart leap in her chest. The dormant fire leapt in her chest and Ashley felt alive again. She'd gained her first fan.

"Ashley? How come you're looking like you've just been proposed to?" Danielle asked slyly. Ashley blushed and quickly stuffed the note, her first fan mail, into her pocket. She quickly attempted to shift the subject onto something else. She saw something.

Ashley pointed at the rolled up piece of paper under Danny's arm. A mischievous glint lighted in her eye. "Oh this? It's just a poster Vincent got me. It's Shoko Nakagawa's new single, 'Sorairo Days'. Wanna see?"

Danielle smiled. Hook, Line and Sinker.

Seeing little harm in that, Ashley nodded. With a flourish, Danielle unfurled the colorful poster and laid it open for Ashley to see, trying as hard as possible not to collapse into fits of laughter.

Ashley took one glance at Danielle's new poster and did a double take. She immediately pulled out her pen and writing cards and began scribbling away.

DANNY, IF YOUR POSTER IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT SHOKO NAKAGAWA'S NEW SINGLE… HOW COME I'M ON IT?

"My secret." Danielle grinned. "Care to autograph it little Miss Rockstar?"

WHAT ABOUT COLT? WEREN'T YOU A FAN?

Ashley instantly regretted asking that. A huge killing aura appeared behind the diminutive girl. The kind that makes you freeze in your tracks, and piss your pants. All the while, Danny continued smiling. "Colt? Oh him? That trench coat wearing fool?"

* * *

"I'll kill him. Definitely."

* * *

And somewhere out there, the White Devil of the TSAB felt the distinct urge to take up an apprentice. But that's another story.

**

* * *

**

**Black; So you say everybody enjoyed the concert? That's good to hear.**

Claes; Yeah, those two girls were really good. Henrietta couldn't stop crying though. She kept pointing at that half naked girl that suddenly appeared on the stage and sobbing. She seemed to think it was her sister, Danielle. We tried to tell her there was no way Danny could have been there but… how did that unconscious girl get there anyway?

**Black; Do you play any musical instruments?**

Claes; Changing the topic now are we? Well I'm sure you have your reasons. I play the piano.

**Black; Ah, the piano… soft soothing notes and very classy. It has plenty of history behind it. It suits an intellectual like you Claes.**

Claes; Thank you Claes. I'd imagine you play a similar instrument. I'm guessing a piano like myself or maybe even a cello…

**Black; Actually, I play the bass guitar. **

Claes; …huh?

**Black; I'm also learning how to play the drums as well. Nice rhythm once you get into the beat. But my favorite is the bass guitar. It's often underappreciated like myself, but every good rock band needs it to function. **

Claes; Um, I'm speechless Black. I didn't think you'd get into… well, rock music.

**Black; I'd imagine so. It's actually rather fun once you get started. I didn't think I'd have a flair for this, but I think I might want to go professional… **

* * *

"I need aspirin." Colt complained. "Why did you confiscate all my aspirin?"

"Serves you right for almost costing us the audience." I-No lectured.

"What an adventure!" Haruhi said happily as they piled back into the band trailer. "Wait till Kyon and Yuki hear about this! Cyborgs, a bigass fight to the finish, more crossovers than I could count, the birth of two demon gods of rock, the fabric of reality almost coming apart… I wish the S.O.S. brigade had adventures like this back in the day."

Colt coughed into his fist. Kyon still didn't have the balls to tell her? What a dweeb!

"Alright now all we have to do is pick up Person and then we can do Rome!" Haruhi declared.

"Well, at least we won't find any killer cyborgs there." I-No smiled. "I think I've had my fill of gun-toting girls starting catfights on stage and being a nuisance."

"Yeah. It'll be great to have a normal concert for once. No more Cyborg fan girls for me." Colt chuckled to himself. Still there was something nagging him in the back of his mind. Something he was forgetting about Rome, and Italy in general.

Oh well, worry about it later. For now, all Colt wanted was some aspirin and a good aspirin. He'd had enough of P-90 toting cyborg girls.

As Midnight Carnival drove off into the sunset into their next adventure, something clicked in I-No's mind.

"Hey, guys, whatever happened to Dante?"

**

* * *

**

**Whatever Happened to Dante?**

* * *

Mundus, one of the great demon lords of the underworld, settled into his big comfy stone chair, his pink fluffy rabbit sandals on his feet and a warm cup of hot chocolate in his hands. Mundus adjusted the pink nightcap on his head. After eons of sweat and toil to rebuild his fragmented kingdom and regain his power, the great demon could finally relax.

He marveled at the intricate stone walls and the gentle light that now blanketed his throne room. The architects had done their job, his seat of power was rebuilt and his realm was now restored to order, even after it had been reduced to rubble. But what delighted Mundus the most was the silence, the sweet calming sound of nothingness.

Silence was the element Mundus now prized the most.

That raucous punk, Sparda a 'Demon God of Rock', had charged down into his castle, his dreadful device spouting out that horrendous shrieking noise. The power that Sparda wielded shattered both Mundus eardrums and his kingdom at the subatomic level… some kind of new energy Mundus had never experienced before.

A thousand years later, Mundus had discovered it was called 'death metal rock'.

He and his men had never stood a chance.

After Sparda's departure, Mundus and his followers had an uphill battle to rebuild. Nearly nine tenths of their women of marriageable age had suddenly vanished. Not even a trace of them could be found. The castle was in ruins, and the armies that had once been so feared by all were now quivering lumps of sulfur and brimstone, afraid to look at their own shadows.

Mundus had long given up his dreams of world domination. Sparda had all but shaken the marble out of his stony hide with that Mega Gibson Decibel Bending… whatever. It was a guitar and to Mundus, a Guitar it shall be.

After that, Mundus and his followers had more than enough of sound. Wars were too noisy.

Sipping his hot chocolate, the commanding demon prince smiled to himself as he relished in the simple things in life…

"**YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"**

Mundus fell out his seat in horror as the monstrous sound of a guitar and a vocalist shattered his precious silence like a chainsaw being used to cut butter. NO! How could this be!

"**MUNDUS! PREPARE TO BE 0WN3D! THAT STONY ASS O' YOURS IS MINE!" **

A powerful voice resounded through the air. Even though its speaker was standing beyond the lava moat of the fortress the voice of a Demon God of Rock was a weapon far too powerful to be held back by the laws of physics.

"**I AM DANTE SPARDA! SON OF SPARDA! DEMON GOD OF ROCK!"**

"**IN THE NAME OF M' FATHER, SHALL YOUR CASTLE BE SMALLER!"**

"**YER EARS OKAY? YEA? NOT FOR LONG!"**

"**NOW LISTEN TO M' SONG!"**

The great demon prince… pissed himself. Not another Sparda! Grabbing his pink night cap, the muscular three eyed demon ran behind his throne and hoped that the rocker would think he was not in and go away.

No such luck.

"**I HAVE COME! T' FREE! MY BRO-DAH!"**

His father's legendary guitar, this obscenely massive big-ass red spiky thing with its own inbuilt twin quad liked super speakers and this wicked scythe blade prop assaulted Mundus home without a flicker of remorse.

The reverberating walls of the fortress, both the fleshy organic bits and the marble infrastructure, held against the onslaught of sound, but just barely. The architects had designed the fortress to withstand on onslaught from the likes of say… Laharl, another powerful overlord.

However, this was quite different. Mundus began to panic. This 'Dante' hadn't even gotten through the first verse, let alone the first song, and his palace was coming apart at the atomic level!

"**YOU KNOW HIM AS NEO ANGELO! YOU HAVE MADE HIM EMO!"**

"**THIS INSULT CANNOT STAND! I'M MAD AS HELL!"**

"**GET READY MOTHERFUCKER, 'CAUSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE DAMNED!"**

As if on cue, the said servant of Mundus came running through the doors on the throne room hands over his ears. "Milord! We have to flee!"

Mundus shot a look at his secretary, Virgil Sparda, A.K.A Neo Angelo, A.K.A. Gilver. Wearing a smart blue suit and matching overcoat, Virgil was more of a pretty boy than he was emo. Which brought up the question…

"How could you possibly manage to give your brother the idea you've turned emo? You have that motorcycle riding girlfriend! Emo people don't have girlfriends!" Mundus asked stupidly as one of the diamond chandeliers crashed to the floor.

"There was this magazine on the latest fashion in the Demon world that asked me to model!" Vergil managed out as the very ground beneath their feet shook. "The theme that day was goth! It's a magazine only sold in hell… Dante willingly never comes down here on his own, so I don't know how he managed to get his hands on it!"

As much as Mundus wanted to lay into his subordinate for violating the terms of employment, no moonlighting for instance, now was far from the time.

"**JACKPOT SUCKA! FEEL THE BEAT!"**

"**EARTHQUAKE BAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYY!"**

The sonic boom ripped through the marble castle. Screams, both those horrified shrieks of the hapless silence loving demons and the jubilant cries of a zillion elated groupies echoed through the underworld.

"Hurry! Challenge him to a rock off! It's our only chance!" Mundus yelled above the 'racket' as the stone struts holding up the ceiling began to crack.

"ME? I can't! I only know how to swing my katana! I could do some kung fu but… a rock off? I failed music class in kindergarten!" Virgil replied as he witnessed his brother's awesome powers.

Was this the true power of their father? Why did he go though all the trouble of raising Temen ne Gru then? Virgil felt like there was a jackass sign hanging off his back. "You do it! You play a musical instrument right?"

"If you think my _piano_ can beat that…" A stone pillar fell down on the said ebony grand piano sending wooden splinters all over the floor "…nevermind."

"**LIKE THAT BITCHES? GOOD TO KNOW!"**

"**HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL CAUSE THERE'S MORE, LETS GO!"**

Both demons hid behind the marble throne while the great castle came down around them, Mundus could only think of this to say.

"At least the castle gets to be sent off in…"

"**SSSSSSSTTTTTTYYYYYYLLLLLIIIIISSSSSHHHHHH!"**

**THE END**

* * *

Authors Notes

* * *

What started of as a funny one-shot has evolved into something much greater. Starting as an innocent e-mail I sent to Person, that crazy idea somehow snowballed into this massive fic you see before you right now. I challenge anyone who reads this to confidently proclaim that (s)he can identify every single anime, game and pop culture reference I've put into this (Truth be told, I've lost count and despte my best efforts I can't come up with an exact figure!).

You can attempt to have a go at this on the International GSG forum.

I hope everyone will have as much fun reading it as I have had writing it.

EDIT; Made correction to disclaimer. I'm a sticker for the rules.

EDIT; Fixed Section Dividers.


End file.
